The Art of Negotiation and Communication

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Listen to this week’s podcast episode, Ep.186: The Art of Negotiation and Communication - How to Master Your Conversations, with Alistair McBride, using the player below, or click here.

Everyday Negotiation: More Than Just Boardrooms and Contracts

Negotiation isn’t just for high-stakes deals or legal wrangling. As Alistair McBride put it during our chat, it’s something you do every single day, often without realising it. Whether you’re asking your manager for more resources, setting boundaries with a client, or figuring out who’s doing the washing up at home, negotiation and communication sit at the heart of it all.

This week I sat down with Alistair (Al) McBride, Negotiation and Communications Coach, Facilitator and Trainer, and host of the Dealing with Goliath Podcast. With decades of experience, Al has seen every mistake and myth in the book, and he’s learned a practical approach that strips away the theatrics and keeps the focus where it belongs: understanding, trust, and clarity.

Why Negotiation Is a Leadership Skill, Not a “Sales Trick”

One of the first myths Al busts is the idea that negotiation is only about winning or losing. In fact, he explained, good negotiation is about problem-solving, finding outcomes where both sides leave the table feeling heard, respected, and willing to work together again. That’s not a luxury; it’s a necessity for leaders.

Think about it: every time you need to align a team, balance competing priorities, or mediate between stakeholders, you’re negotiating.

Leaders who can’t communicate clearly or who see negotiation as a contest of wills tend to burn bridges and lose influence. Leaders who approach it as a collaborative process build stronger, longer-lasting relationships.

Lessons from the Negotiation Table

Al shared plenty of practical lessons that any leader or manager can apply right away:

1. Preparation is half the battle: (Not that it is a battle, but who can resist the turn of phrase?!) Too many people walk into conversations without clarity on what they want or what the other side might value. Take the time to prepare, it saves pain later.

2. Listen more than you speak: It’s tempting to push your case, but the best negotiators are often the best listeners. Much like the best leaders. Understanding the perspective of others gives you a better chance of success.

3. Separate the person from the problem: Conflict feels personal, but rarely is. Keep the focus on the topic, not the individual.

4. Stay curious: Ask questions instead of assuming. The simple phrase “help me understand” can defuse tension and uncover opportunities.

5. Play the long game: Negotiation isn’t about “winning” today and souring the relationship tomorrow. It’s about building trust that pays off over time.

Mistakes to Avoid

Al has seen smart people torpedo conversations by falling into common traps. Here’s a few of the biggest for you to avoid:

• Overconfidence: Walking in assuming you know it all shuts down learning.

• Treating silence as weakness: Sometimes the best move is to say nothing and let the other person fill the space.

• Chasing short-term wins: Grabbing a quick advantage often backfires when you need to work with the same people again.

• Failing to reflect: After a negotiation, if you don’t debrief yourself and learn, you’re bound to repeat the same mistakes.

The Role of Emotion

One of the most interesting parts of my chat with Al was his take on emotion. Too often, leaders think negotiation means stripping out all feeling and sticking purely to the facts. Al explained that this is a mistake, emotion is always in the room, whether you acknowledge it or not.

When leaders ignore the emotional side of a conversation, they miss the signals that really matter: frustration, hesitation, enthusiasm, doubt. By contrast, when you pay attention to tone, body language, and energy, you can adapt your approach in the moment. Sometimes it means slowing down and giving space. Other times it means calling out what you’re seeing with a simple, respectful phrase like, “I get the sense this is worrying you; am I right?”

This isn’t about manipulation. It’s about recognising that people don’t make decisions in a vacuum. We all bring emotions, experiences, and biases into the room. A leader who can read that undercurrent and respond with empathy has a huge advantage. As Al put it during the conversation, negotiation is as much about managing states of mind as it is about trading facts.

From Conversations to Careers

We also talked about how these skills ripple out into wider leadership and career growth. Leaders who can negotiate effectively often find themselves trusted with more responsibility, because they’re seen as people who can handle conflict and find solutions. And communication (the core of all this) is what creates alignment, trust, and influence.

As Al explained during the episode, negotiation isn’t something you dust off when stakes are high. It’s an everyday leadership muscle.

The more you use it, the stronger it gets, and the easier it becomes to turn tense moments into productive ones.

The key bit: The Real Win Is the Relationship

Negotiation and communication aren’t mysterious arts reserved for lawyers or dealmakers. They’re the daily tools of anyone who leads, manages, or collaborates. And as Alistair McBride reminds us, they’re skills, which means you can learn them, practice them, and keep improving.

Just like you can with leadership itself.

So next time you’re heading into a tricky conversation, don’t ask yourself “how do I win?” Ask instead: “how do we solve this together, and keep working well after today?”

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Thanks for an enlightening conversation, Al! Plenty of useful tips I’ll be trying out in my own encounters in the future.

To hear the full episode, here’s that link again: https://smartlink.ausha.co/leading-with-integrity/ep-186-the-art-of-negotiation-and-communication-how-to-master-your-conversations-with-alistair-mcbride-leadership

Or, if you prefer video, you can also catch it on YouTube here.

See you next week, when I’m talking to ex-U.S. Diplomat, Leadership Speaker, and Executive Coach, Michael Dillard about integrity, authenticity, leadership, and more.

Til next time: Be a Leader, Not a Boss!

- David

In case you don’t know me that well, I’m David Hatch and I’m here to help new managers and first-time founders with their leadership skills, so they can become leaders not bosses, lead with integrity, and build happier, higher performing teams, more effective organisations, and, ultimately: successful businesses.

Be less Luthor. Be more House of El. Become the leader you wish you’d had, and come join my online leadership community. If you have a healthy love of sci-fi and want to learn more about leadership, then this is the community for you. Solopreneurs also welcome. 😉

Here’s the link: Integrity Leaders: Community membership and learning, for new leaders or first-time founders.