Selfish Leadership: Why Mental Health Matters at Work

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Listen to this week’s podcast episode, Ep.185: Mental Health at Work: An Essential of Modern Leadership, with Gary Parsons, using the player below, or click here.

Mental Health Is Not a Side Issue

Gary Parsons has spent years helping leaders understand one of the simplest but most overlooked truths in business: mental health isn’t a side topic, it’s a leadership essential. In our conversation, he explained how ignoring well-being doesn’t just hurt individuals, it drags down decision-making, teamwork, and results.

The modern workplace demands more from leaders than strategies, revenue and performance targets.

People are looking for leaders, founders, and managers who understand stress, pressure, and resilience, and who create an environment where well-being is taken seriously.

Where talking about your mental health isn’t stigmatised, where ‘always on’, ‘everyone struggles with this’, and ‘burnout is ok’ aren’t normalised.

The Idea of Selfish Leadership

The words ‘Selfish’ and ‘Leadership’, at first glance, sound contradictory. And I’ll be honest, I was a skeptic on this to start with. But after meeting Gary and talking through the idea, I’m coming around to his perspective on this one. The way he defines the word selfish (or redefines it, rather) makes it hard to argue against the common sense logic behind it.

His concept of Selfish Leadership™ may sound provocative, but it’s not about ego or arrogance. It’s about putting your own well-being first so that you’re in the right place to support other. Too many leaders burn themselves out in the name of serving others, and the result is that everyone suffers.

As Gary put it in our chat, if you can’t look after yourself, you can’t look after anybody else. That framing is powerful and it reminds us that self-care is not indulgence, it’s responsibility. A reminder many a leader (including me 10 years ago!) needs.

Breaking the Stigma Around Mental Health

One of the recurring themes in our discussion was how stereotypes still linger around mental health at work. Gary believes the only way forward is open, consistent conversation. And as with so many things, leaders set the tone here, if you can speak honestly about your own experiences with stress, when you’ve fallen short, how you’ve become more resilient, or if/how/when you’re needing support, you give permission for others to do the same.

It’s leading by example, applied in one of the most important and meaningful places.

This doesn’t mean leaders have to be therapists. It means recognising that the humans you lead come with pressures and challenges of their own, and those challenges affect performance.

So by being willing to listen, showing empathy, and ensuring a psychologically safe environment, your leadership will be the kind that builds trust and loyalty far more than pretending everything is fine.

Lessons and Practical Takeaways

Gary’s insights are grounded in experience, not theory. He has seen the toll that poor mental health takes on leaders and teams. He’s also seen how things improve when well-being is prioritised.

Remember too, that mental health challenges can impact anyone, anywhere, even at the height of success (important to remember this for those of you who may be founders and entrepreneurs - the outward picture of success that you’re comparing yourself too may not be entirely accurate).

Here are a few practical steps drawn from our conversation:

1. Check your own oxygen mask first: Prioritise sleep, exercise, and boundaries. Your energy sets the tone for the whole team.

2. Model openness: Share how you manage stress or what you do to reset. Normalising the conversation breaks the stigma.

3. Create safe spaces: Encourage regular one-to-ones or check-ins where team members can raise issues without fear.

4. Watch for warning signs: Changes in behaviour, communication, or energy levels often signal someone struggling.

5. See well-being as performance strategy: Healthy, supported people make better decisions, collaborate more, and stay longer.

Final Thought

Gary Parsons’ idea of Selfish Leadership™ flips the script on the old model of leaders sacrificing everything for their team. Instead, it argues for leaders who take care of themselves first so that they can take better care of others too.

The big lesson is clear: mental health is not a “perk” or a nice-to-have.

It’s as central to effective leadership as clarity, trust, or vision. When leaders put well-being at the heart of their approach, both people and performance benefit.

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Thank you to Gary for being so generous with his time, a truly educational and enjoyable discussion was had! Hear the full, feature-length episode here: https://smartlink.ausha.co/leading-with-integrity/ep-185-mental-health-at-work-an-essential-of-modern-leadership-with-gary-parsons-leadership-podcasts 

Or, if you prefer video, you can also catch it on YouTube here.

Thanks for reading, do let me know how you get on with this week’s episode, and I hope you’ll be back again next Wednesday for a conversation about negotiation, communication, and more with guest, Al McBride.

Until we speak again…. Be a Leader, Not a Boss!

- David

In case you don’t know me that well, I’m David Hatch and I’m here to help new managers and first-time founders with their leadership skills, so they can become leaders not bosses, lead with integrity, and build happier, higher performing teams, more effective organisations, and, ultimately: successful businesses.

Become the leader you wish you’d had, and come join my online leadership community. If you have a healthy love of sci-fi and want to learn more about leadership, then this is the community for you. Solopreneurs also welcome. 😉

Here’s the link: Integrity Leaders: Community membership and learning, for new leaders or first-time founders.